You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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