I hate all girls vehemently.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
