a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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