My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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