the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
