i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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