I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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