Someone shit on the floor
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
