Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
