Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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