Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm too high and old for this...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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