I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When are your genitals available?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
