I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
