She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
