beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
