I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
