i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
