I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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