Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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