people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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