We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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