So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
