love makes seman taste better
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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