just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
