i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
