Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
