I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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