So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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