Im at strip club and am horny
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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