Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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