question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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