dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
