no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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