he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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