And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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