As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We talked him into tasing himself.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
