tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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