And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
