No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
