He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
