So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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