Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
