That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
