angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
