Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
