"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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