she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?