I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!