Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

  (310): View more from California

  Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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  (310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe
  Replies (12) Good night (3138) Bad night (512)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????

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  (248): am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock???? http://tfl.nu/dfne
  Replies (75) Good night (1640) Bad night (6248)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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  (440): that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water... http://tfl.nu/dw5a
  Replies (12) Good night (600) Bad night (4087)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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  (972): Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy. http://tfl.nu/2xr2
  Replies (52) Good night (967) Bad night (9620)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

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  (318): I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line. http://tfl.nu/xyp6
  Replies (9) Good night (4256) Bad night (667)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship

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  (775): Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship http://tfl.nu/iroi
  Replies (19) Good night (4430) Bad night (986)
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (555) Bad night (4126)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.

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  (859): I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/eae7
  Replies (30) Good night (4566) Bad night (763)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.

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  (248): I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory. http://tfl.nu/kmrf
  Replies (4) Good night (4093) Bad night (1127)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass

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  (903): I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass http://tfl.nu/h4q0
  Replies (10) Good night (3299) Bad night (736)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy

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  (601): i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy http://tfl.nu/7bad
  Replies (6) Good night (658) Bad night (2025)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.

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  (403): You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark. http://tfl.nu/dx9e
  Replies (16) Good night (2200) Bad night (569)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hahaha. That's funny.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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  (847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13
  Replies (6) Good night (3149) Bad night (489)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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  (478): Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink! http://tfl.nu/6ksq
  Replies (10) Good night (927) Bad night (825)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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  (870): I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more? http://tfl.nu/o5o8
  Replies (2) Good night (258) Bad night (101)

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