There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.