Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I wanna bring you to show and tell

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  (269): I wanna bring you to show and tell http://tfl.nu/jv6d
  Replies (1) Good night (2113) Bad night (767)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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  (518): i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on. http://tfl.nu/22pm
  Replies (5) Good night (4007) Bad night (691)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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  (248): the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot. http://tfl.nu/4bij
  Replies (20) Good night (2493) Bad night (911)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
  Replies (18) Good night (2473) Bad night (5102)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Clearly I made an impression.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or at least your vagina did.

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  (520): Clearly I made an impression. (404): Or at least your vagina did. http://tfl.nu/bank
  Replies (9) Good night (4947) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

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  (860): There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now. http://tfl.nu/p8mk
  Replies (6) Good night (3350) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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  (786): If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up http://tfl.nu/h8cl
  Replies (14) Good night (5572) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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  (847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp
  Replies (10) Good night (2843) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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  (989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb
  Replies (10) Good night (3021) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (3714)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable

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  (229): Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable http://tfl.nu/1o17
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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  (610): The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly. http://tfl.nu/cjbh
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...

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  (512): And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background... http://tfl.nu/mx93
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

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  (804): Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal. http://tfl.nu/5gs5
  Replies (5) Good night (912) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances

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  (610): I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances http://tfl.nu/sqi3
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (275)

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