Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.

(818): View more from California

Punch her baby.

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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(410): View more from Maryland

ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time

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(213): View more from California

And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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(707): View more from California

You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.

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