Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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