And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
