you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
