I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What drink are we having for lunch?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
