booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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