He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
