Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
