So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
