He is an equal opportunity slut.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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