And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
