i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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