Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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