dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
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I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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