Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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