U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
