u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize