your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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