I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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