I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
