Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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