Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
