yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
