He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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